Spiral Staircase

I hate saturday nights. Lately, saturday's have started haunting me. There is this very wierd feeling about it. My grand crash took the center stage on a saturday night. Its a saturday night and i have fallen down, off my spiral staircase yet again.
This kid, is a part of the Orphanage i visit every Saturday. I guess this was my last trip to that place and i was lucky enough to capture this kid on my camera. A funny thing happened today. As soon as i walked in, i saw my fellow volunteers distributing pens to the other kids. This one was sitting in one corner with a pen and a sheet of paper. Her hands are so small that she can hardly hold a pen. Still she was drawing lines on the paper due to peer pressure. All the other kids around her were doing the same. I still couldn't judge if the others were randomly drawing lines just because they were too bored or if they really can't replicate even an alphabet. I sat with them and drew few shapes. No one knows how to hold a pen. My fellow volunteers accepted my idea of organizing a painting competition for the kids. That's when i realised that no one gives a damn. They don't know where the kids stand, or how much they know. I was very disappointed. I was laughing in my head and walked out of that place. This other guy came and pissed me off further with his bunch of stupid questions.
I sat in one corner and few kids came running towards me. They jumped, they pulled my hair, drew lines using their pens on my shirt. Few were upset since i couldn't give them enough attention due to the other kids. Love is all we need. Love is all they need.
We tend to take it for granted. If someone gives us selfless love, we try to customize it as per our convenience. Well i have been put on hold on everything. I have been asked to take some time out so that i regain my sanity. I am trying to figure out where am i going wrong here. Should i be careless? Maybe. Every time, all my comrades find a reason to push me off their circle. If i don't move forward, i'll never have a past.
I hate saturday nights.